When I was a boy- Part six- Revolution
Being a soldier in arctic landscape, means that you have to take certain care of yourself. Water is about as scarce as in a desert invironment (you never have the time to melt snow), the temperatures is... well freezing, the landscape is unforgiving and then there is that much dredded yellow snow!
The fluid depravation is a bitch! You constantly eats snow to still your thirst (just remember to scoop up those raindeer pellets first), but what you do not sweat away (even in -40 c), you almost instantly pee out because of the lack of minerals. You go about with a constant hangover because of the dehydration, and you soon learn to always have a can of salt in your pocket, making a tequila shot type of thingy out of every water sip.
One of my dear comrades was a guy, a head shorter than me- maby 20 kilos my junior, with the most beautifu set of hair I´ve ever seen on another male. It was golden blonde, shiny, wellgroomed and reached his hips. Naturally enough we all thought the kid was some kind of a pansy. Only afterwards we learned that he was one of the meanest (in a good way) son of a bitch i`d ever had the plasure to meet. He also made a point of not cutting his hair- for any reason.
One morning, after a particulary cold night (temperatures down to -49 C); we actually had to cut him loose from the canavas fabric of our tent. His hair had frozen tight to the fabric. Needless to say, his hairdo was ruined. He still thought that his hair could be saved to some extent.
The following night; I was sitting "fire post". The "hair guy" was up next. After a two hour shift I woke him up as easilly as I could. While he was getting ready for his post duty, I thought of a prank (yeah- I´m a genious- not!). So right before he took his seat infront of the stove I dropped in a handful of 5.56 training rounds. What I did not expect him to do, was to emideatly lift the lid on the stove and poke his nose in to it.
I have never seen anyone move so quickly in my whole life! It could not have taken him more than 5 seconds to run out in to the snow; put out the fire in his hair (by dipping his head in the snow), run back and fiercly start to maim me. I could not help it, but I laughed heartily the whole time (as did everybody else).
For the rest of the time we serviced together he sported a crew- cut just as everybody else. He is still the best sniper I ´have had the chance to service with.