Proud Infidel ranting about the ongoing war against democratic and secular values (Don't fool yourselves)! Maybe a voice of sanity in a wide ocean of madness.

20070227

Never lick on a three year old!

During the last few days, I have bee able to publish a couple of posts, even though I have been sick as a dog with the flu. I hope that I have not been to incohorent doing that.

Yesterday, I woke up hearing the dreaded wake- up alarm from my cellphone. I was supposed to go out at an exercice with the rapid response military unit I belong to. It was a big no-no!

I SMS:d my second in command and told him that I could'nt make it; and immediatly after, fell asleep again.

Four houors laterI was once again woken up. This time from the ringsignal of my cellphone, which I had plastered to my ear. I tumbeled out of my bed, discovered that I was completly blind, paniced and ran in to the wall.

Blood dripping from my nose, feverisly trying to claw open my eyes, glued to gether with eye-snot; I made it as far as the bathroom, where I splashed some water at my face before returning to the bedroom- once again passing out.

A couple of hours later I woke up once again. Lying on my back, I looked down towards my feet and discovered that I had become pregnant. At least that was what it looked like. My bladder was the ziece of a basket ball.

I kid you not! It took me almost 10 minutes to relieve myself.

The moral of the story would be:
Do not get kids, and if you do, do not put them in public childcare. And if you do; never ever lick on them!

3 Comments:

Blogger Yankee Doodle said...

And let that be a lesson!

Hope you get feeling better.

Wednesday, 28 February 2007 at 01:25:00 CET

 
Blogger pela68 said...

Ah, but there is more!

Later on I discovered actual teethmarks in the wallpaper, surrounded by high- velocity bloodsplatters. I relly hope no CSI investigator ever gets acess to my apartement.

After waking up in mid afternoon, I went to the local grocery store to pick up some food. I noticed that I got some funny looks from other people there. But it was not after the (very cute- and normaly chatty) check-out girl did'nt look at me or even said anything but the required that I started to suspect something was wrong.

When I came home, I checked myself i the mirror and to my terror discovered that I was tiger- striped in white and red.

The water- splashing earlier did'nt do much for cleaning up my face- it only smeared the blood out.

I don't think I'm going to that store again any time soon...

Wednesday, 28 February 2007 at 12:07:00 CET

 
Blogger Yankee Doodle said...

Ouch!

Especially when you're sick you need to check yourself in the mirror. It could be your first clue to a new aspect of the problem.

Wednesday, 28 February 2007 at 13:04:00 CET

 

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