Proud Infidel ranting about the ongoing war against democratic and secular values (Don't fool yourselves)! Maybe a voice of sanity in a wide ocean of madness.

20070413

When I was a boy- Part IV- Redemption

It has been said that the eskimos has 52 different kinds of words for different kinds of snow, and that everyone of them can be used as a curse. I find it very likely to be true.

During my service at the Artic Rangers, I (litteraly) tasted everyone of those different types of snow- and then some.

You got for instance the "icy snow", the "wet snow", the "yellow snow" (use your imagination here) and then ofcourse the "powder snow"!

Powder snow is quite cool on alpine downslopes, not so when you are trying to ski crosscountry with a ranger backpack!

So here is the big question.

How do you take a dump in meter- high powder snow?

The ways of doing it ranged from desperate to stupid and utterly insane.

You can not dig a hole, because the snow will just fall in to the hole filling it up again. You have not got the time- within the brake of a march- to make a makeshift latrin. What do you do?

Some guys tried just to stand in the snow, longjhons, fatigues and snow- camoflague trousers dragged down just enough to- well... clear the area. Then placing a couple of meters of toiletpaper between their legs, and just hoping for the best. Needless to say; it was not always sucessful.

Another strategy was to climb up a tree. That is all fine and dandy when you are in the low lands. The problem is, when you get up to higher altitudes, the trees also gets thinner.

After a foodbrake, just below the treeline of a mountain; I felt the need to go and take a leak. I waded through the snow and went behind a cliffside´. There I discovered one of my mates. The scenario was; he had tried to climb up one of the "dwarf birch trees"- that grows just along the treeline. He got up right and well, stripped and started doing his buissness. While doing it he discovered that the tree was not as sturdy as he thought it was. It had slowly started to bend over. When I found him, he was laying on his back in the snow, holding the tree, with his bare ass firmly planted in the snow.

He looked over at me, and through gritted teehts said something like "pppppllleeeeaaassse". I took a long look at him, turned around and walked away.

There are just some things that you don´t do, even for a friend. I would probably take a bullet for him, but that was my limit.

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