I've got to share this with you

Bernie over at Plank's Constant on Abu Hamza- the islamic captain hook:

Years ago, Abu Hamza came to one of his favorite whore-houses in Finsbury Park in North London, near one of the mosques where he was an Imam. Irene, an infidel-whore, who hadn't seen Abu for years asked him where he had been. He told her he just returned from Afghanistan.
Irene noticed that he was missing both arms and had a hook for his right hand. "What happened to your arms?"
Abu Hamza: "They were both blown off by a land mine during the war against the Russian unbelievers, but I killed 14 of them that day, Hamdulillah (Praise be to Allah). The National Health Service gave me only one hook though, may their children be infested with camel lice!"
Then she noticed his left eye was made of glass, "What about your eye? Did you lose it during a battle against the Russians?"
Abu Hamza: "No, it was your blasted British pigeons. I was shooing them away from the Mosque when one of them flew over and shite right in my eye."
Irene, who had been expecting a more gory response, confusedly asked, "How could a little pigeon crap cause you to lose your eye?"
Abu Hamza snapped, "I'd only had this blasted hook for a few days!"

The rest of the post is here.